What Self Care Does (and Doesn’t) Look Like
Hello, dear YDP community! It’s been a minute! I have thought of you all often as I have taken the last month and a half “off.” I laugh a little to myself in writing that, as these weeks have been so full (and a bit arduous at times) that it has hardly felt like a respite. But as I near the end of this season of building and renovating, home set up and moving, I am taking the time to reflect on what went well and what didn’t. In the theme of self care, there were definitely some riptides. Here are some things I learned:
Self care and survival don’t need to be enemies.
We had our share of set backs these last several weeks both personally and externally. When the demands of my energy and attention were high I negated my own self care, thinking “let me just push through this day/week/project and I will do something for myself after or later.” This was not a great approach. In retrospect it would have been wise to take small breaks, more often rather than waiting to rest after something big was completed. The truth about home renovations (and many other projects in our lives) is they are never quite done. So as one thing was completed, the next thing was waiting in line.
I can take care of my people while also taking care of myself.
I like to cook. But some days, such as when my husband was in quarantine for over a week from Covid and I had my kids 24/7, I just needed to get food on the table. I probably didn’t need to cook everything from scratch with different fruits and veggies at every meal. Yes, these things are important and part of our routine, but it would have been ok to give myself permission to take some helpful “short cuts” rather than be in I CAN DO EVERYTHING mode. In & Out, anyone?
If you feel something, say something.
I come from a loooooong line of people pleasers. For this reason, I often default to buttoning my lip and accepting things that don’t feel quite right only to later regret not saying something. (Has that ever happened to you?) Lesson learned: It’s ok to speak up. In fact it’s good to allow my opinions, ideas, and corrections to be heard and followed. Part of self care is showing up for my own voice. That being said…
Don’t let perfection be the enemy of the good.
Sometimes people mess up. Sometimes it’s worth everyone’s energy and time to give grace, and move on.
Good food, lots of water and daily fresh air are an absolute MUST.
One hot day at high noon I found myself assisting our tradesmen at re-laying pavers. (Why, you ask?? Refer to the previous two bullet points. ) I had no hat, no water and was ready for lunch. The task needed to be done, but a headache later in sewed. Lesson? Be better equipped with the simple things that help you cope - water, snacks and sun protection in this case - so you don’t pay for it later.
While these lessons may seem very specific to the two C’s (Construction and Covid) that have dominated my life that last six weeks they really can be applied to any situation. Our self care doesn’t have to be spa days, big trips away from our homes, or our favorite glass of wine. Self care can be how we show up for ourselves in our relaxed tasks, and our stressful ones.
What about you? How do you show up for yourself on the daily? How do you give yourself permission for breaks, peaceful walks or daily stretch?
I look forward to finding out! My return date is September 1st. I look forward to seeing you on the mat!
In wellness,
Francine
